A Complicated Relationship: your backpack and you

What is the difference between hiking, and back-country backpacking? The backpack of course!

Now, I’m not qualified to tell you how to physically train to survive your backpack: each body is different, and has different needs. You should go to a professional. Also, I’m barely qualified to tell you how to eat with a spork, so, you know…

What I can tell you from my experience (being a small feathery creature carrying sometimes more than the recommended 20% of its weight) is that day after day, you will develop a relationship with your backpack.

A complicated one.

1-Fear

What do you mean, I have to carry it?

At first, it’s easy to be scared of your backpack. Once you’ve put everything in it, you can barely lift it, and the realization that you’ll have that thing on your back for days can be daunting. Think that weight can change from day to day, depending on the food you carry, whether it’s raining or not, and try to imagine that your backpack is as scared of you as you are of it.

I mean, what will become of it if you can’t carry it, you know?

2-Domination

What do you mean, I can’t crawl all the way?

On the first few days, your backpack may try to establish dominance over you, by crushing you physically. Stay strong, and confident. It’s just a backpack full of gear, it does not actively try to kill you.

3-It is actively trying to kill you

“Tu quoque, mi Osprey Backpacki!”

There will be a day at some point, where your backpack will stab you in the back. Repeatedly. I know that, by that time, you really hate the poor thing, but remember: if it’s stabbing you, it certainly is because you pulled on the wrong strap and it’s all askew on your back. So, it is your fault, not the backpack’s!

4-Neutral

I take full responsibility for any strap-related action, if you acknowledged you’re the one who crushed the lemon drizzle.

Someone helped you with the straps, and it’s not stabbing you in the back anymore. You feel the weight, but you’re not crushed by it. You forget you have it on your back while walking. Congratulations! You’re entering the neutral phase of your relationship. Soon, you will love it!

5-Love

I shall name you Oswald and take you everywhere with me!!

And there you go. You love it. After all, it contains everything you need. It’s snug, and protects you from the wind. It’s your constant companion, doesn’t mind your smell, you can sit on it when you’re tired, you can even sleep with your head on it, or use it to prop you up when you want to read in your tent.

6-Passion

Ô Oswald!! The world is our oyster, and we are… pearls I guess?

You don’t want to take it off anymore. Why would you? Life is so simple, everything around you is pure joy. It feels lighter and lighter everyday. It now has scars from the adventures you had together during the trip… What do you mean, the trip is over, and you’re going back… back to the hotel, back to a non-backpacking life??

7-Sadness and despair

Still, I can’t help but feel some kind of weight has been lifted from my shoulders…

That time of your life is over (until your next backpacking trip, obviously). You’ll have to learn to live without it. You’re heartbroken, but what must your poor backpack feel when you abandon it and store it in a dark corner of your home? Using small bags you don’t even put on your back, and in which you always lose your keys?