1-Going up to Hermit Lake with the Tuckerman Ravine trail
I think my backpack is trying to murder me. I tried a lot of different configurations, with little success. It’s poking me in the back, and not in a very nice way. Also, my legs refuse to understand they cannot go at the same speed when I’m carrying something heavy. Basically, I’m alternating between running blindly with clenched teeth and throwing my backpack and rolling around in the snow. Thankfully, it’s only a 2 hours hike, and like a horse, I can soon smell the stable… in this case, it may have been the smell of the outhouse outside our lodging for the 2 upcoming nights: lean-to number 6.
The famous outhouse right next to lean-to number 6, seen it softly smelling in the twilight.
2-Sleeping like a Princess
I just realized I haven’t brushed my teeth. And you know what? I don’t even care. I’m far too cosy and warm to even think of trying to. I’ve eaten so much I can’t move anyway. Also, I’m feeling like a princess. Admittedly, princesses do not have chicken-soup-and-rice breath, and are not supposed to smell like they have hiked up a mountain and not showered, but still, I feel like a princess. Indeed, I am on a very comfortable and thick inflatable mattress, in a gigantic sleeping bag made for arctic nights where I’m very warm and in which I can fit three or four times. In my arms, I hold a bottle filled with hot water. A cup of hot chocolate is brought to me. I’m treated like royalty.
Inside the Lean-to number 6
3-The Blizzard
The roaring wind is howling mournfully, shaking the trees and whirling the snow in wild directions. Visibility is quite low. You can barely see the spruces and firs surrounding the camp. The mountains are lost in the thick clouds.
Inside the rustic shelter, life and death decisions are being taken.
“Oreo or cream egg? There’s only one Oreo left…
-I don’t mind the regular cream, says I.”
I can hear a sigh of relief. Anyway, I’ve already eaten 3 portions of porridge and I’m preparing a fake-nutella wrap, so I’m quite sure I won’t be able to eat the chocolate egg in the near future.
Still, the summit seems compromised for today…
Please note that I’m not responsible of the Tyrex’s belief that take-out is the only way to have food
4-Gear time
One hour later, I finally found the inner strength to eat the Cadbury Egg. I almost broke a tooth on the frozen cream inside, but mmmh, sugar!!
The snow has stopped, the sky has considerably cleared, so the guides decided we could do the summit after all. We are putting the gear on, and that is taking us a long time… Harness, crampons, gore-tex jacket, everything (in the right order obviously). We only have a day pack with nuts and a warm coat for the summit, and I managed to have to do it all over again five times in a row. That’s how gifted I am. Give me three items and a bag, and I’ll be busy with it for hours.
The Gear, looking fierce
5-Premonitions
We are going downhill to fetch the trail to the summit. I am gripped by a sudden premonition: tonight, we will curse and damn those ten minutes…. For now, it’s rather nice. Temperature is mild, trees are beautifully sprinkled with snow.
Then, we start the long climb to the summit.
One section is very difficult and we need to climb it for real, with ice-axe, front point of the crampon and all. I’m mostly ok, but now I understand why we did all those initiations before!
I didn’t fall. I did quite well, all things considered. It’s just that I was not very relaxed in the process of climbing, and some of my muscles are hurting quite intensely. Bad news: I definitely need those particular muscles to go up.
Ouch.
“Alex, says I, once the difficult section was done, do we go back down this way?”
Turns out, yes, we do. Damn. I feel another premonition coming about tonight.
My Ice-axe, enjoying the view after having been roughly handled
6-Alpine Mollusk
We are now in the Alpine section, where there are only rocks and hard snow. We are progressing upwards by doing big S on the slope. Everytime we turn, we have to transfer our ice-axe from one hand to another. It is going rather well, except I don’t see much because I have condensation on my glasses.
The most awesome picture of the week-end…
Very well, says I, I’ll stop and put on my ski mask!
Alas, while stopping and trying to sit in the snow, I suddenly realized two things:
-that slope is steep. You know how there are gentle how-do-you-do-dear-madam slopes that can be tricky? Well, that one was a didn’t-you-know-I-was-a-cliff one, and from where I was, looked positively threatening.
-that slightly sliding steep slope is slippery!! (try saying that 10 times very quickly while slipping on a steep slippery slope!)
Clearly, the previous picture, though awesome, had flattened the slope.
I gripped my ice axe and stayed petrified on the snow. Not like a quiet limpet napping on its rock, more like an oyster who smells a lemon. At that exact moment, I considered rolling myself into a tight feathery ball and waiting for my mom to pick me up. Thankfully, Jo the guide saved my life. Thanks, Jo!
7-The Summit
Hooray!! We made it! said I when I saw the empty parking lot. And then I instantly regretted being on the summit.
For those of you who don’t know the Mount Washington, let me tell you: this summit is not a nice place to arrive at. First, it has a reputation for having the worst weather in the world, and, even if I was there only twice, well, I think it deserves it. Also, because you can access it by car, you are greeted to it by a parking lot, which, let’s be fair, is a bummer when you hiked 5 hours in the snow to get to it.
Yet, I didn’t think of the parking lot, or the view, or anything, because the wind was so strong, I was worried I would get carried away everytime I took a step. And let me tell you, dear reader, than even though I am a tiny Owl, I am quite dense and not particularly light!
Every Mount Washington summit pictures look like that
So, once again, thanks for the guides for saving my life.
It was so cold up there, even protected from the wind, that we had to do the Macarena and do the Duck Dance to keep warm. We didn’t stay there long.
8-The sunset
We did the Alpine section of the descent roped together, except for one guide. It was so beautiful… The sun was setting behind the mountain, and the light was gorgeous. The whole view was spread out in front of us in the warm shimmering glimmers of the setting sun, looking as if someone was using a dimmer and a disco ball at the same time. (you thought I was getting poetic for a minute, didn’t you?)
Taking a picture while being roped is… well, you know… everybody has to stop for you and all…
It’s always the way with those difficult hikes: there is always one moment so pure, so intensely perfect that it makes you forget those painful, wet, cold hours of discomfort and makes it all worth it.
9-Descent in the night
Yes indeed, beautiful sunset in the Alpine section meant that in the forest section, it was night. Thankfully, one of the guides had his headlamp. Thanks again, Jo, for saving all of our lives. It was not very dark because of the snow and a very bright, red, full moon, but still, we soon arrived at the difficult part (you know, the one where I had my second premonition) and we needed to do it in front point (like, basically un-climb it).
I went last, and Jo guided me step by step. Once again, I think it went rather well, all things considered. It basically went something like that:
“Is my left foot well placed?
-Yes, your left foot is well placed. Now you can move your right foot.
-Can I put it there?
-Yes, you can put it there.
-Is my right foot well placed?
-Yes, it is. You can move your ice axe now.
-There?
-Yes, very well. There is a nice step to put your right foot that way, and…
-And is my right foot close to the step now?
-Mmmh now, your right foot is dangling in the air…
-Oh, right! And is my left foot well placed?“
So thank you Jo for saving my life, and also for being very patient while saving it.
10-The first premonition comes true
Do you remember when I told you at the beginning of the hike, that we went down for 10 minutes? Well, I had forgotten it, I had been so focused on the un-climbing. The path was wide, and the night was clear, and stars were shining high and stuff like that, but honestly, those 30 minutes where difficult. My legs where running on backup batteries. I was hungry, thirsty. sleepy. shaky, grumpy and tired. I was basically every dwarves from a gritty Snow White remake at the same time.
My emotion at seeing the Lean-To number 6 that night
Ô the joy and happiness I felt when seeing the familiar shape of the lean-to number 6!!
11-Invoking God
Good thing it was Easter, because we invoked God a lot that evening. While removing our crampons and boots, our helmets, changing our clothes, and then while sitting, standing, moving about… Oh my God, Bless the Lord, Jesus Christ, Sweet Baby Jesus !!
Fun fact: in the cold, when you remove your boots, your feet smoke like baby dragons. Also smoke comes out of your mouth, nose, sleeping bag… I find it very entertaining, especially the feet.
If you want to do this at home, I don’t know, maybe try going into your freezer after a bath?
That evening, we were very cold. The night was colder, and our bodies where exhausted (except for the guides, who saved our lives by cooking and heating water and things). We, the clients, were wrapped in our sleeping bags and very quiet while eating.
Once again, I ate so much that I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. This time, the hot water bottle in my arms, I fell into a deep sleep that was more a coma than anything else…
12-Going back
This morning, when I stretched myself upon waking up, every inch of my body hurt. It took me a long time to accept the fact that I had to get out of my princess bed and face the cold uninviting world. Thankfully, I was still being treated like royalty and had a cup of hot chocolate with butter brought to me, so I somehow managed to get out. It was one of those exceptionally bright and sunny days where everything is sharp and smiling in the world, you know, birds singing, blue sky and all.
Still, my heart was not singing with the birds. I was dreading the descent in Tuckerman Ravine with the backpack and no legs to speak of… Well, turns out I was wrong, my legs were fine, everything went smoothly!
You can hear the birds sing on this picture!
We stopped at Gorham to eat a pizza. Gorham is the small village close to the Mount Washington. You know, there was a wave of crime at Gorham. It is much safer now, thanks to a vigilante who took matters into his own hands: the famous hero of Gorham. Barman.
…The hero Gorham deserves?
Hum.
…
THIS IS THE BEST JOKE OF ALL JOKES!!! I STAND BY IT!