Dear Reader,
I once again interrupt the tale of my quiet travelling to the West Coast to tell you of a more immediate adventure.
A few weeks ago on a sunny sunday, with the same team who took me ice climbing a few weeks ago, I learned the ropes of alpine hiking (ahah, learned the ropes, see what I did there??)
I can hear you asking “Why? Rambling Blue Owl, why would you do that? You shouldn’t plan on hiking anything too alpine, because remember, you’re very bad at climbing!”
Indeed, I do remember, and don’t worry, I only plan on hiking Mount Washington in winter conditions. No climbing involved. Anyway, it’s with the same guides, so they know my limitations extremely well (hum).
What does that mean, Alpine Hiking? It means I learned how to walk with big crampons and an ice ax, while being roped to someone.
Let me share my exciting new knowledge with you!
Big Crampons
To walk with big mountaineering crampons, just walk like a Tyrex who has crotch friction troubles.
To the guides: you’re welcome to use that illustration for your subsequent clients.
Sometimes, on slippery ice or difficult portions, imagine the Tyrex is violently squashing an unwelcome centipede in one shot. That’s it.
Do not scratch your calf, head, or any portion of your or anybody else’s body with your boot.
Ice Ax
Your Ice Ax is your life. Do not lose it. Treat it as if it was a newborn baby who would pierce your entrails at a moment’s notice. When falling, you use it to stop yourself, while doing what is called a self-arrest. We trained a lot for that. We pitched ourselves in the snow many times, and it was quite fun because the snow was really fluffy. Best exercise ever!
That is the exact reason why we don’t invite the Tyrex when there are pointy things involved!
I fell for real once or twice, and stopped myself not too badly, but it was in a forest, in the easiest situation possible. I’m definitely not convinced with my ability to stop myself for real.
Being Roped to someone
First of all, I felt so badass with all the harness and ropes and crampons and stuff. I felt awesome. Truth is, I obviously looked like a trussed-up Owl on a construction site, but I felt pretty cool, so that’s something!
How I feel…
… and what I actually look like.
I can’t say I’ll be able to put the rope by myself again. I still have problems doing the Figure 8 knot (although I’ve already learned it twice before)!
Walking while being roped to someone seems easy – the rope must neither touch the ground, nor be tight – yet it’s not that simple. There are turns, and trees, you climb up, and down, you have to walk at the same pace than the other… At times you feel like a donkey who wants to pull the thing to get to that damn carrot, and some other times, the other has so much rope that he could hang up a full laundry on his side.
You could tie a big moose roast with that much rope, isn’t it Maurice?
They promised they’d give us chocolate on Mount Washington! Let’s go Maurice!
Another weird fact before my conclusion: climbing down on ice was strangely easier than I thought it would be. So I can’t climb up, but I can climb down…
Now you know as much as I do about Alpine Hiking, dear reader. Next, I’ll tell you how my week end on Mount Washington went.
Thank you once again InspireA+!